Building a Supportive Network (When really, I’d rather be curled up on the sofa)

​Building a Supportive Network (When really, I’d rather be curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea):

This is one of those topics that I feel is really important to talk about, but has so many layers to it, that it can be tricky to know where to start.
As I write this, its 5 years to the day that schools closed their doors and we were entering our first Covid lockdown. FIVE years!!!



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Much has been documented about how people managed and certainly, it affected everyone in their own unique way. After a turbulent few years though, I’ve been reflecting on how things changed, and continue to be changed.

​Based upon my own experience and observations of others, the following became the ‘new normal’ for many of us: 

• Changes in how we work – remote and hybrid working reduced the opportunities for social interaction at work
• How we socialise – Smaller more intentional circles, people are less inclined to get dressed up and go to noisy/busy places
• Rates of Anxiety and depression increased (and remain at higher levels than pre pandemic).
• Mental health became more of a priority: so time alone or out in nature took priority over less connected interactions.
• Technology advances and platforms like Zoom, Google meets and Microsoft teams has opened up opportunities for online working and socialising meaning our network no longer needs to be geographically close.

I think aspects of these changes are really positive, but I wonder what happens if you are a person who falls on the wrong side of all of these changes and are left feeling disconnected?

What if:

• You work from home and don’t have colleagues?
• Don’t have a large family/Have no family/Partner?
• Don’t make the ‘cut’ in your old social circles?
• Are still financially impacted by the last few years so can’t afford to go out like you did before? 
• Your physical and/or mental health are still affected from the Covid fallout?

How do you build a network for both professional and personal support when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or simply uninterested in making awkward small talk over bad coffee? Here’s my take, from one busy woman to another.

1. Acknowledge the Resistance

Your feelings are real and valid. It’s perfectly OK to not always feel like socialising and it’s ok to say no. That said, if you notice you are regularly saying no, it may be time for reflection on what that’s about?

• Is it the person?
• The activity?
• The timing?
• What needs to change?
• Do you need to suggest an alternative?
  
  

What kind of connection would actually feel uplifting rather than draining?
 
2. Prioritise Quality over Quantity

I try to focus on meeting people who genuinely align with my values, goals, and lifestyle. A handful of meaningful relationships—whether for business, friendship, or both—is far more valuable than a hundred superficial connections. That said, when trying to widen your circle, you are going to have to put yourself out there trying new activities, talk to new people, and get out of your comfort zone.

How much of this you can stomach is up to you. You’ll need to find the balance of old and new that suits you

3. Find Low-Effort Ways to Connect

Networking and socialising don’t have to mean dressing up and trekking to some formal event. It can be as simple as joining a local Facebook group, reaching out to message people you’ve not seen for a while or someone new you connected with at an event, or arranging a relaxed coffee with a potential new friend/peer.

One of my favourite strategies? Casual networking and socialising. That’s why I recently started the WGG Business network to try and connect local business women together. We meet in person at least once per month and interact daily in the Facebook group. It gives us space to ask professional questions, share and celebrate our wins and even have a Christmas do! Most importantly it alleviates the problem of being professionally isolated.

Don’t forget simply making idle conversation with new people can be enough just to ‘drip feed’ your social appetite too.

4. Lean into Existing Relationships

Sometimes, the best network isn’t built—it’s already there. Instead of always chasing new connections, I’ve learned to nurture the relationships I already have. Whether it’s reconnecting with old friends, colleagues, or acquaintances in a similar life stage, strengthening those bonds can be just as beneficial as meeting someone new. Whether it’s for career opportunities, emotional support, or just some good company, those relationships matter.

Take a breath and find the courage to speak up and ask for what you need.

5. Make It Fit Your Lifestyle

For networking and socialising to be sustainable, it has to work with my life— I am a mother, business woman, & homemaker and I value my time to exercise, relax and sleep! This means I have to be realistic about what I can commit to. Instead of weekly business networking I attend monthly, I try to arrange my diary with a mixture of pre-planned events and spontaneous get-togethers that fill the need in the moment. One-off events can also be a great way of making new connections without a lot of commitment. 

6. Remember, It’s About Balance

For me, networking isn’t just about career advancement, and socialising isn’t just about fun—it’s about creating a well-rounded support system that fits your needs. Whether it’s sharing business challenges, parenting woes, finding a gym buddy, challenges of life transitions (pregnancy, career direction changes, menopause etc) the right network should help in all areas of life.

7. Give Yourself Permission to Opt Out Sometimes

As I mentioned earlier, balance is key.
Some days, I have the capacity to show up and engage. Other days, I can’t and the sofa wins.
This used to frustrate me and my inner critic would berate me for all the ‘shoulds’ I didn’t attend to. Self-awareness, compassion and acceptance of who I am and what I need has quietened the voice in my head. The caution is making sure my need for comfort doesn’t completely override my need for connection—whether that’s for business success, personal fulfilment, or simply having a bit of fun.

The Bottom Line

For me personally, the balance of my career has changed from being out of the house most days, to working from home 1:1 online with my therapy and coaching clients.
Personally, I am blessed with wonderful friends although, like me, many are at a busy stage in life with work, taking care of parental responsibilities and for some, dealing with ageing parents.
If I’m not careful I can spend a lot of time alone. When time is limited, I can fully subscribe to the push-pull feeling of wanting my time to be spent in connected and meaningful interactions, but that I also need time at home to relax and decompress under that blanket on the sofa.
I’m sad that I can’t always see my friends more than I do, but when we do get together it’s always great. I don’t blame people for being unavailable. I accept it for what it is. In this situation, having a wider circle can be beneficial so you can honour what your friends need but also get your own needs met too.


What About You?

How do you navigate the balance between social connection and much-needed downtime? Do you have a network that supports you in both your personal and professional life? If you’re looking to build a more intentional support system, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you’re currently going through a time of change and transition in your personal or professional life and would like some support, I can help you. Drop by my coaching page, or contct me via the contact form for more information.

If you’re a businesswoman, come connect with us in the WGG Business Network! Let’s make networking feel easy, meaningful, and, most importantly—right for you.
Click here to go to the group
 
 
 

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